Sitting and Waiting

[Written a few years ago]

I’m waiting for someone to come and unlock the door
Into all of those wonders
To learn
To be
Waiting for the day I finally get to join those inside
Waiting for someone to come let me in

I am waiting here, but it comes with a price
How long?
Should I be doing something to get in?
Will this wait ever end?
I may never get the chance to come inside
But how will I know if I do not wait?

I hold the key to unlock the door,
But is it strong enough to let me in?
Can I handle what is on the inside?
More importantly, am I capable of being handled?
Will the losses be justified by what is gained?
I have to wait until I know

I’m ready for everything that we can share inside
But I need to be alone right now
We feed off of each other until we are so high
I knock the ladder from under us and we both come crashing down
I look at what has happened, what I have done
And wait until I can no longer hurt

Everything that I’ve ever wanted waits behind the door
Clarity, hope, you, me, understanding, love, beauty, happiness
I watch people come and go with their shiny keys, waiting.
A familiar face asks me to come inside
And watches to see the key I pull out,
The shape that makes it mine

“I don’t really have a key”
“Nonsense, everyone has a key”
So I pull out the chain around my neck
“My key is rusty and worn
Is it ok that it is old?”
I watch as a tattered key is put in the lock

As the door closes, I laugh
This is all it takes? It all seems so simple
I step up to the lock and put in my key, ready
As I start to turn, my rusty key snaps and crumbles
The door will not open, so I sit
And wait

I thought I would share one of few writings I actually show to the world.
There's another one you may see someday.